That steal his name and shape and ecstasy,
He is still the godhead by which all can change. https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/34/satyavan#p48,p49</center>
=Types of Love=
==Divine Love==
The Divine Love is the essence of Truth and cannot be affected by human confusions. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love#p13</ref>
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Divine Love is not an emotion,—a very different thing to say. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p39</ref>
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...there is in the highest or deepest kind of love the psychic element, which comes from the innermost heart and soul, a kind of inner union or self-giving or at least a seeking for that, a tie or an urge independent of other conditions or elements, existing for its own sake and not for any mental, vital or physical pleasure, satisfaction, interest or habit.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p28</ref>
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Divine Love, in my view of it, is again not something ethereal, cold and far, but a love absolutely intense, intimate and full of unity, closeness and rapture using all the nature for its expression. Certainly, it is without the confusions and disorders of the present lower vital nature which it will change into something entirely warm, deep and intense; but that is no reason for supposing that it will lose anything that is true and happy in the elements of love.
Love cannot be cold—for there is no such thing as cold love, but the love of which the Mother speaks in that passage is something very pure, fixed and constant; it does not leap like fire and sink for want of fuel, but is steady and all-embracing and self-existent like the light of the sun.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p37</ref>
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There is also a divine love that is personal, but it is not like the ordinary personal human love dependent on any return from the person—it is personal but not egoistic,—it goes from the real being in the one to the real being in the other. But to find that, liberation from the ordinary human way of approach is necessary. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p37</ref>
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The soul's turning through love to the Divine must be through a love that is essentially divine, but as an instrument of expression at first is human nature, it takes the forms of human love and bhakti. It is only as the consciousness deepens, heightens and changes that that greater eternal love can grow in it and openly transform the human into the divine. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p32</ref>
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When the love goes towards the Divine, there is still this ordinary human element in it. There is the call for a return and if the return does not seem to come, the love may sink; there is the self-interest, the demand for the Divine as a giver of all that the human being wants and, if the demands are not acceded to, abhimana against the Divine, loss of faith, loss of fervour. Etc. etc. But the true love for the Divine is in its fundamental nature not of this kind, but psychic and spiritual. The psychic element is the need of the inmost being for self-giving, love, adoration, union which can only be fully satisfied by the Divine. The spiritual element is the need of the being for contact, merging, union with its own highest and whole self and source of being and consciousness and bliss, the Divine. These two are two sides of the same thing. The mind, vital, physical can be the supports and recipients of this love, but they can be fully that only when they become remoulded into harmony with the psychic and spiritual elements of the being and no longer bring in the lower insistences of the ego. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p29</ref>
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The true divine love is above all quarrels. It is the experience of perfect union in an invariable joy and peace.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/16/letters-to-a-young-sadhak-iv#p22</ref>
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When you reach the contact with the Divine's love you see this love in everything and all circumstances.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love#p3</ref>
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The Divine has an equal love for all human beings, but the obscurity of consciousness of most men prevents them from perceiving this divine love. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love#p30</ref>
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To love truly the Divine, we must rise above attachments. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/love-for-the-divine#p24</ref>
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Divine Love can overcome the evil and cruel―the tiger does not attack the yogi. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/general-1#p7</ref>
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With the Divine's Love is the power of Transformation. It has this power because it is for the sake of Transformation that it has given itself to the world and manifested everywhere. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/15/transformation#p31</ref>
If the spirit of divine love can enter, the hardness of the way diminishes, the tension is lightened, there is a sweetness and joy even in the core of difficulty and struggle. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/08/8-august-1956#p10</ref>
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There is only one true love—it is the Divine Love; all other loves are diminutions, limitations and deformations of that Love. Even the love of the bhakta for his God is a diminution and often is tainted by egoism. But as one tends quite naturally to become like what one loves, the bhakta, if he is sincere, begins to become like the Divine whom he adores, and thus his love becomes purer and purer.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/16/10-june-1964#p2</ref>
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As supramental Truth is not merely a sublimation of our mental ideas, so Divine Love is not merely a sublimation of human emotions; it is a different consciousness, with a different quality, movement and substance. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p40</ref>
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The Divine's love is that which comes from above poured down from the Divine Oneness and its Ananda on the being—psychic love is a form taken by divine love in the human being according to the needs and possibilities of the human consciousness. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p11</ref>
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Divine Love, in my view of it, is again not something ethereal, cold and far, but a love absolutely intense, intimate and full of unity, closeness and rapture using all the nature for its expression. Certainly, it is without the confusions and disorders of the present lower vital nature which it will change into something entirely warm, deep and intense; but that is no reason for supposing that it will lose anything that is true and happy in the elements of love. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p36</ref>
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Divine love is of two kinds—the Divine love for the creation and the souls that are part of itself and the love of the seeker and love for the Divine Beloved; it has both a personal and impersonal element, but the personal is free here from all lower elements or bondage to the vital and physical instincts. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p44</ref>
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Krishna with Radha is the symbol of the Divine Love. The flute is the call of the Divine Love; the peacock is victory. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/30/gods-goddesses-and-semi-divine-beings#p13</ref>
=== True Love ===
The true love for the Divine is self-giving, free of demand, full of submission and surrender. It makes no claim, imposes no condition, strikes no bargain, indulges in no violence of jealousy or pride or anger―for these things are not in its composition. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/love-for-the-divine#p20</ref>
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True love, that which fulfils and illumines, is not the love one receives but the love one gives.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love-and-human-love#p51</ref>
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The true love for the Divine is a self-giving, free of demand, full of submission and surrender; it makes no claim, imposes no condition, strikes no bargain, indulges in no violences of jealousy or pride or anger—for these things are not in its composition. In return the Divine Mother also gives herself, but freely—and this represents itself in an inner giving—her presence in your mind, your vital, your physical consciousness, her power re-creating you in the divine nature, taking up all the movements of your being and directing them towards perfection and fulfilment, her love enveloping you and carrying you in its arms Godwards. It is this that you must aspire to feel and possess in all your parts down to the very material, and here there is no limitation either of time or of completeness. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p24</ref>
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True love is something very deep and calm in its intensity; it may quite well not manifest itself in any exterior acts sensational or affectionate. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love-and-human-love#p64</ref>
===Psychic Love ===
A psychic love towards all is also emerging; this love is a thing inward and does not seek to express itself outwardly like the vital love which men usually have. The psychic and spiritual attitude is also not dependent on the good and bad in beings, but is self-existent regarding them as souls who carry the Divine in them however thickly concealed and are children of the Mother.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/30/the-emergence-or-coming-forward-of-the-psychic#p14</ref>
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Psychic love can have a warmth and a flame as intense and more intense than the vital, only it is a pure fire, not dependent on the satisfaction of ego-desire or on the eating up of the fuel it embraces. It is a white flame, not a red one; but white heat is not inferior to the red variety in its ardour. It is true that the psychic love does not usually get its full play in human relations and human nature, it finds the fullness of its fire and ecstasy more easily when it is lifted towards the Divine.
If love is psychic in its nature, it always brings a sense of oneness or at least of an inner intimate closeness of being. The Divine Love is based upon oneness and the psychic derives from the Divine Love. <ref>https://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p12,p13</ref>
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The psychic love is pure and full of self-giving without egoistic demand, but it is human and can err and suffer. The Divine Love is something much vaster and deeper and full of light and ananda. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p13</ref>
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The psychic realisation is one of diversity in unity (the portion and the whole); it is not one of dissolving like a drop of water in the sea—for then no love or devotion is possible unless it is love of oneself, devotion to oneself.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p19</ref>
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When there is no demand or desire, only love and self-giving, that is the psychic love.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p14</ref>
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Psychic love is quite satisfying, and it can change even the vital love into something great and beautiful.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p15</ref>
=== Supreme Love===
And the supreme Love is a love without any definite object―the love which loves because it cannot do other than to love.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love-and-human-love#p52</ref>
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This was the supreme love, to accept the loss of the perfect condition of supreme divinity, its absolute consciousness, its infinite knowledge, to unite with unconsciousness, to dwell in the world with ignorance and darkness. And yet none perhaps would call it love; for it does not clothe itself in a superficial sentiment, it makes no demand in exchange for what it has done, no show of its sacrifice. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/03/2-june-1929#p6</ref>
===Universal Love===
Universal love is the spiritual founded on the sense of the One and the Divine everywhere and the change of the personal into a wide universal consciousness, free from attachment and ignorance.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p43</ref>
===Supramental Love===
The supramental is not, as you can imagine, something cold, hard and rocklike. It bears within it the presence of the Divine Love as well as the Divine Truth and its reign here means for those who accept it the straight and thornless path on which there is no wall or obstacle of which the ancient Rishis saw the far-off promise. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/bhakti-yoga-and-vaishnavism#p20</ref>
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The supramental love means an intense unity of soul with soul, mind with mind, life with life, and an entire flooding of the body consciousness with the physical experience of oneness, the presence of the Beloved in every part, in every cell of the body.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/bhakti-yoga-and-vaishnavism#p37</ref>
===How does Divine Love Manifest? ===
To manifest the Divine love, you must be capable of receiving the Divine love. The wider and clearer the opening in them, the more they manifest love divine in its original purity; the more it is mixed with the lower human feelings, the greater the deformation. The division, the distinction between the two that you make in the beginning are a creation of the mind: once you rise to a higher level, they disappear. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/03/2-june-1929#p4</ref>
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The Divine Love, unlike humans, is deep and vast and silent; one must become quiet and wide to be aware of it and reply to it… To give oneself is the secret of sadhana, not to demand and acquire. The more one gives oneself, the more the power to receive will grow. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p38</ref>
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On the physical plane the Divine expresses himself through beauty, on the mental plane through knowledge, on the vital plane through power and on the psychic plane through love. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/15/the-divine-working-in-the-universe#p6</ref>
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It [the Divine Love] exists in itself and does not depend on outer contact or outer expression. Whether it shall express itself outwardly or how it will express itself outwardly depends on the spiritual truth that has to be manifested.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p6</ref>
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There is one divine Love secret in all things, but the manifestation [of it in matter and in forms of life] depends upon the state of consciousness and its organisation. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p7</ref>
== Human Love ==
Ordinary human love is vital, emotional and physical and always egoistic—a form of self-love. The psychic element is very small except in a few. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/human-relations-and-the-spiritual-life#p55</ref>
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Human love is mainly vital, when it is not vital and physical together. It is also sometimes psychic + vital. But the Love with a dominant psychic element is rare. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/human-relations-and-the-spiritual-life#p56</ref>
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Human love is nothing but divine love perverted and distorted by the instrument through which it is expressed.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/10/aphorism-534#p4</ref>
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Human love is mostly vital and physical with a mental support—it can take an unselfish, noble and pure form and expression only if it is touched by the psychic. It is true, as you say, that it is more usually a mixture of ignorance, attachment, passion and desire. But whatever it may be, one who wishes to reach the Divine must not burden himself with human loves and attachments, for they form so many fetters and hamper his steps, turning him away besides from the concentration of his emotions on the one supreme object of love.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p41</ref>
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He was speaking of human love manifesting as Bhakti, as a force of devotion for the Divine, and he says that at the beginning your love for the Divine is a very human love with all the characteristics of human love. Yet if you persist and make the necessary effort, it is not impossible for this human love to be transformed into divine love through identification with what you love.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/06/16-june-1954#p61</ref>
=== Physical Love ===
There is a vital love, a physical love. It is possible for the vital to desire a woman for various vital reasons without love—in order to satisfy the instinct of domination or possession, in order to draw in the vital forces of a woman so as to feed one's own vital or for the exchange of vital forces, to satisfy vanity, the hunter's instinct of the chase etc. etc.This is often called love, but it is only vital desire, a kind of lust. If however the emotions of the heart are awakened, then it becomes vital love, a mixed affair with any or all of these vital motives strong, but still vital love. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p30</ref>
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There may too be a physical love, the attraction of beauty, the physical sex-appeal or anything else of the kind awakening the emotions of the heart. If that does not happen, then the physical need is all and that is sheer lust, nothing more. But physical love is possible. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p31</ref>
===Mental Love===
In the same way there can be a mental love. It arises from the attempt to find one's ideal in another or from some strong mental passion of admiration and wonder or from the mind's seeking for a comrade, a complement and fulfiller of one's nature, a sahadharmī, a guide and helper, a leader and master or from a hundred other mental motives. By itself that does not amount to love, though often it is so ardent as to be hardly distinguishable from it and may even push to sacrifice of life, entire self-giving etc. etc. But when it awakes the emotions of the heart, then it may lead to a very powerful love which is yet mental in its root and dominant character.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p32</ref>
==Misapprehensions Related to Love==
Love, the eternal force, has no clinging, no desire, no hunger for possession, no self-regarding attachment; it is, in its pure movement, the seeking for union of the self with the Divine, a seeking absolute and regardless of all other things. Love divine gives itself and asks for nothing. What human beings have made of it, we do not need to say; they have turned it into an ugly and repulsive thing. And yet even in human beings the first contact of love does bring down something of its purer substance; they become capable for a moment of forgetting themselves, for a moment its divine touch awakens and magnifies all that is fine and beautiful. But afterwards there comes to the surface the human nature, full of its impure demands, asking for something in exchange, bartering what it gives, clamouring for its own inferior satisfactions, distorting and soiling what was divine." <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/05/19-august-1953#p22</ref>
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It has become human nature something low, brutal, selfish, violent, ugly, or else it is something weak and sentimental, made up of the pettiest feeling, brittle, superficial, exacting. And this baseness and brutality or this self-regarding weakness they call love!
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/03/2-june-1929#p7</ref>
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Because you cannot obtain what you want from the object of your love, you want to destroy it in order to become free; in the other case, you shrivel up almost in an inner rage, because you cannot obtain, you cannot absorb what you love.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/10/aphorism-113-114#p5</ref>
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Certainly, one has the right to love and true love carries in itself its joy, but unfortunately human beings are egoistic and immediately mix with their love the desire to be loved in return, and this desire is contrary to spiritual truth and the cause of passions and sufferings. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/14/divine-love-and-human-love#p6</ref>
===Difference between Aspiration and Desire in Love===
The essential difference between love in aspiration and love in desire is that love in aspiration gives itself entirely and asks nothing in return—it does not claim anything; whereas love in desire gives itself as little as possible, asks as much as possible, it pulls things to itself and always makes demands. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/04/22-february-1951#p21</ref>
=== The Role of Vital ===
Vital emotions are of an altogether different nature—they are very clear, very precise, you can express them very distinctly; they are violent, they usually fill you with an intensity, a restlessness, sometimes a great satisfaction. some people imagine they experience love only when it is like that, when love is in the vital, when it comes with all the movements of the vital, all this intensity, this violence, this precision, this glamour, this brightness. And when that is absent, they say, "Oh, this is not love."
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/15/30-january-1951#p31</ref>
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The vital must have decided that my love would express itself in a particular way, and as it did not happen that way, the vital says, "There is no love!" <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/17/20-october-1934-1#p4</ref>
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I have never said that the vital is to have no part in the love for the Divine, only that it must purify and ennoble itself in the light of the psychic being. The results of self-loving love between human beings are so poor and contrary in the end—that is what I mean by the ordinary vital love—that I want something purer and nobler and higher in the vital also for the movement towards the Divine. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p50</ref>
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Yes, that is the nature of vital love. It is based on desire and the sense of claim or sense of possession; psychic love is based on self-giving.
As for love, the love must be turned singly towards the Divine. What men call by that name is a vital interchange for mutual satisfaction of desire, vital impulse or physical pleasure. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p52</ref>
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When the vital joins in the love for the Divine, it brings into it heroism, enthusiasm, intensity, absoluteness, exclusiveness, the spirit of self-sacrifice, the total and passionate self-giving of all the nature. It is the vital passion for the Divine that creates the spiritual heroes, conquerors or martyrs. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p49</ref>
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The love in the vital or other parts is the true thing, good for the spiritual life, only when in the vital love is changed into a form of the psychic love and becomes an instrument for the transformation of the soul's love, no longer for the desires of the ego which men call love. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/human-relations-and-the-spiritual-life#p54</ref>
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I should perhaps add one or two things to avoid misapprehensions. First, the love for the Divine of which I speak is not a psychic love only; it is the love of all the being, the vital and vital-physical included,—all are capable of the same self-giving. It is a mistake to believe that if the vital loves, it must be a love that demands and imposes the satisfaction of its desire; it is a mistake to think that it must be either that or else the vital, in order to escape from its "attachment", must draw away altogether from the object of its love. The vital can be as absolute in its unquestioning self-giving as any other part of nature; nothing can be more generous than its movement when it forgets self for the Beloved. The vital and physical should both give themselves in the true way—the way of true love, not of ego-desire. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p27</ref>
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There are in the vital itself two kinds of love,—one full of joy and confidence and abandon, generous, non bargaining, ungrudging and very absolute in its dedication and this is akin to the psychic and well-fitted to be its complement and a means of expression of the divine love. And neither does the psychic love or the divine love despise a physical means of expression wherever that is pure and right and possible: it does not depend upon that, it does not diminish, revolt or go out like a snuffed candle when it is deprived of any such means; but when it can use it, it does so with joy and gratitude. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p32</ref>
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But there is another way of vital love which is more usually the way of human nature and that is a way of ego and desire. It is full of vital craving, desire and demand; its continuance depends upon the satisfaction of its demands; if it does not get what it craves, or even imagines that it is not being treated as it deserves—for it is full of imaginations, misunderstandings, jealousies, misinterpretations—it at once turns to sorrow, wounded feelings, revolt, pride, anger, all kinds of disorder, finally cessation and departure. A love of this kind is in its very nature ephemeral and unreliable and it cannot be made a foundation for divine love… Love should be a flowering of joy and union and confidence and self-giving and Ananda,—but this lower vital way is only a source of suffering, trouble, disappointment, disillusion and disunion. Even a slight element of it shakes the foundations of peace and replaces the movement towards Ananda by a fall towards sorrow, discontent and Nirananda. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/29/divine-love-psychic-love-and-human-love#p33</ref>
===Difference between Vital Desire and Psychic Love===
Psychic love never bargains—but the vital always tries to derive some benefit for itself in all circumstances. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/17/26-june-1935#p4</ref>
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Psychic love is always peaceful and joyous; it is the vital which dramatizes and makes itself unhappy without any reason. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwm/16/letters-to-a-young-sadhak-iv#p16</ref>
==Love & Sex==
All movements are in the mass movements of Nature's cosmic forces—they are movements of universal Nature. The individual receives something of them, a wave or pressure of some cosmic force, and is driven by it; he thinks it is his own, generated in himself separately, but it is not so, it is part of a general movement which works just in the same way in others. Sex, for instance, is a movement of general Nature seeking for its play and it uses this or that one—a man vitally or physically "in love" as it is called with a woman is simply repeating and satisfying the world-movement of sex, if it had not been that woman, it would have been another; he is simply an instrument in Nature's machinery, it is not an independent movement. So it is with anger and other Nature-motives.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p5</ref>
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When the psychic puts its influence on the vital, the first thing you must be careful to avoid is any least mixture of a wrong vital movement with the psychic movement. Lust is the perversion or degradation which prevents love from establishing its reign; so when there is the movement of psychic love in the heart, lust or vital desire is the one thing that must not be allowed to come in—just as when strength comes down from above, personal ambition and pride have to be kept far away from it; for any mixture of the perversion will corrupt the psychic or spiritual action and prevent a true fulfilment. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p22</ref>
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One must give up the sex-satisfaction and be satisfied with the Divine Love and Ananda.<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p38</ref>
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What is real love? Get clear of all the sentimental sexual turmoil and go back to the soul,—then there is real love. It is then also you would be able to receive the overwhelming love without getting the lower being into an excitement which might be disastrous.
<ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p24</ref>
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It is not that it is not possible to keep the love pure, but the two things [love and sex-desire] are so near each other and have been so much twined together in the animal beginnings of the race that it is not easy to keep them altogether separate. In the pure psychic love there is no trace of the sex-desire, but usually the vital affection gets very strongly associated with the psychic which is then mixed though still not sexual; but the vital affection and the vital physical sex-emotion are entirely close to each other, so that at any moment or in any given case one may awake the other. This becomes very strong when the sex-force is strong in an individual as it is in most vitally energetic people. To increase always the force of the psychic, to control the sex-impulse and turn it into the ''ojas'', to turn the love towards the Divine are the true remedies for this difficulty. Seminal force not sexually spent can always be turned into ''ojas''. <ref>http://incarnateword.in/cwsa/31/sex#p21</ref>
= Why is Love Essential? =