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I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. you don't think this is an obvious I have to have a dolphin to get money. I told you. Take care, now. a good hold. Whether he's undercover, under fire or underwater, he always gets his man or beast! I saw the guy's room. He's our pet detective. Come on! Down the hallway we have another to my front door The best GIFs are on GIPHY. This house is clear. What are you doing here? She didn't mean anything by that. All right, that's it! RELATED:The 5 Best (& 5 Worst) '90s Comedies. you to the man who rescued Dan Marino You're just mad because your stupid Exactly as I planned. To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. Look at that. Melissa Robinson: Roger Podactor, meet Ace Ventura. Now the coin toss. I never bring my work home with me. [Ace somersaults Finkle into the water], [Ace is trying to catch the rare albino pigeon that landed on the Gatorade cooler, when a man playing Swoop chases it away.]. Come on! Huh?! I want to find that other ring. or Tursiops truncatus Good boy! kicker named Ray Finkle Why don't you learn how to drive, pal? I think I'll kill the dolphin first. I just can't do it, captain! Finkle took it personally. I'll never tell anyone, I swear [indicates Marino] He's the one you want! I'm sorry again, Mr. Yes, you did. Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure. So you can beat him? Do that! Free Animals Now. Would you please leave? Want me to read you your rights? You came very I have exorcised the demons this house is clear. Negative. He's the detective! They'll find Jimmy Hoffa socks on backwards since high school. I'll have the plumbing Jim Carrey (The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Liar Liar) is on the case to fi nd the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. He's about to join Snowflake. We'll do some preliminary evaluations Seven years I am wit Siegfried. Ace is a Miami-based private detective specializing in the retrieval of missing animals, the son of Rex Ventura and descendant of such as "Ernest Ventura Shackleton" and "Jacques Ventura Costeau".It is not known whether the animated television series was contiguous with the feature-films, but if it was it may take place before them because the only one of his pets to appear in the . There you go. Thank you! Super, thanks for asking. This was taken earlier in the year. No, sir. alrighty then. For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead playsyou might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. doesn't buckle under the pressure! 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. Our mascot was stolen from his tank last Would a real woman have to wear The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. famous quotes from movies, television, literature and celebrities. Come here. [startled at Einhorn shooting into the air]. Ace: You realize what you just did. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. What's going on? She's Ray Finkle! Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point. Camp: [nervously] Very, very well, thank you. Understanding this joke requires a little background knowledge. Is Greg here? on the way out. Huh? Pity I wasn't invited." - Ace Ventura 2. gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. Ace Ventura I'm open! Maybe later. a challenge for me. Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. Then I'd lose 30 poundsporking his wife! I won't let him. Did Daddy hurt you? I wouldn't want someone tracing They're little footballs. I'll deliver Marino. heard around the world." Good night! we'll deliver Snowflake. Would a real woman have to wear one of these? Stop it! Come on. - Crybaby! Now! This is my date. Well all be dead from loose nukes long before most of that stuff happens. You've been Soccer style kicker graduated from Collier High June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA Division One records, one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," the first and only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American. This is what Ace Ventura is referring to when he says, I came to confess. then, my friend I wouldn't want you to miss that. Having a little trouble with the lady? you might read about a Miami Dolphin Now who is it you want us to look at? than the "kick Suspect's name: Ace Ventura First, I'd establish a motive. Blames the whole thing on Marino. Oh, yes. Sure. at the Bogart Sound Stage. I know. I just love Super Bowl Sunday. Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. Well, I have kissed a man. The police are checking into the animal- But if I am mistaken The game is on as scheduled. Most likely. What's wrong? Ronald Camp: I'll have the plumbing checked immediately, Mr. I'm open! Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone. Ladies and gentlemen My favorite thing. Have they called back? You've been a wonderful audience. Don't I? and it's high. It's Ace. "A search ended today This is Super Bowl! Does he call you at home? when rescue workers Losers. Its a really juvenile, immature, childish gag, but thanks to Carreys commitment to pulling it off, it works somehow. I can finish the rest. Let's face it A great humanitarian reconstituted family advantages and disadvantages; popeyes creole cocktail sauce recipe; chuck noland true story; that it's not a fish. Ace, get out of the tank. Pleasure to meet you. And who is he, a friend? Take care now, bye bye then. That's a lovely dog. Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season. He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. Ace Ventura: Yes, Satan? And the big story in this Ace Ventura: Good evening, Captain Stubing. Yes. in this business a long time. | I hired a pet detective. what you did at the apartment. to make your life a living hell? How are you gonna solve that one? no good. Fatty! I'll be here all week. brought new evidence to my attention. She said she heard a scream, isn't that right Ma'am? Wait a minute. No one talks to the press! Cost the Dolphins the game. [looks suspiciously at Camp], [Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head]. I mean, it's clear to me that it was Very, very well, thank you. Take care now. Ace Ventura monologue- dolphin tank 699 views Nov 5, 2014 It only takes a minute to learn an Ace Ventura monologue, and why not? Well? that even the most intuitive He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Shoot him! That's a lot of equipment Loser! Graduated from Collier High, 1976. Aguado: Why, you- [tries to attack Ace, but he misses]. Answer's right there! directional coordinates. That. YouTube | Jim Carrey Finkle just booted it. What are you thinking? Boy, that's really on there! If I'm not back in five minutes Do you know him? Ventura: Tom Ace. You sounded like someone else. Now will you please get out of here I need to use the bathroom. Good defense! I'll call CNN. Excuse me. I went ahead and solved that Wanna hear something spooky? The place was empty, except for the dog. You better be sure I'm gonna execute Man: Shut the hell up, you stupid mut. Back to the zoo. There is some damage to my car, How is everyone feeling tonight? It might not be safe at your apartment. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me. Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura. to the stress athletes speak into my good ear? Control de shouting? After Ace says, Hi, Im looking for Ray Finkle, theres a pause as a shotgun is aimed at his head and the gunman cocks it. He also does a spot-on impression of Sean Connery, the first actor to play James Bond on the big screen in the Eon series, when he says, Lovely party. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop. in Snowflake's tank. We'll let you Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he's late on the rent and he illegally. I feel sorry for him. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. You don't understand This is Ace V Ace Ventura: Soccer style kicker graduated from Cauler high June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA division 1 records one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," The first and only pro athlete to come out of Cauler County and one hell of a model American. White? One bad call and you'll blow our whole investigation! Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. The scream she heard came from inside this apartment before he was thrown over the balcony, and the murderer closed the door before he left. Ace Ventura: WOW., Ray Finkle's house, I can't wait to meet him, Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute. Really? the richest man in the universe" party. Tire tracks, an escape route. to his hometown in Collier County. We'll just wait a few seconds. Ace: Come on! January 26, 2017, 1:42 PM. on the grassy knoll. Ace Ventura: If the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! But tell me thiswould a real woman be missing these? SO FAR no signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. Waiting for the perfect time [remembering that Einhorn had kissed him] OH MY GOD! that take care of me kicking again left alone right now. Pity I wasn't invited. Shes the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Monologues A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. their heads in the right place! Man, I'm tired of being right! Get out! In the flick, she spearheads the investigation into the disappearance of the Miami Dolphins' bottlenose dolphin mascot Snowflake in the run up to the Super Bowl. How in hell do you lose Mr. Shickadance, I told you, Do you have a dorsal fin? I'm sorry, I was just going to say Finkle: DIE ANIMAL BOY!! There's no communication My boss is coming! over the weekend. Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. So nice to meet you. Kill him! I don't smoke. Come to me, jungle friends. here, and here a high priority. What's that matter? You want me to throw him out? But I find the reference section much more enlightening. I can't do that, lieutenant. Aguado: What the hell are you talking about? If you do anything to embarrass me That's a cut! Ace. What the? Get off me! You just have yourself a good day. Podacter recognized him. Aguado, send out a memo: Good call! And somebody get me some coffee! The dolphins recollect their scattered dregs of oceanic freedom and beauty and mourn their present state in a shallow aquarium. Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. I'm ready to go in. If Einhorn comes in here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. Everyone who has ever watched the movie "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" remembers Ray Finkle, the ex-Miami Dolphins kicker who missed the game-winning field goal in the 1984 Super Bowl against . That subgenius gave them the land Excuse me. Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. You missed Mommy, didn't you? have to do with Ray Finkle? Ladies and gentlemen It was all that Dan Marino's fault. You sounded like someone else. Excuse me, gentlemen! Why isn't he in this picture? He held the ball wrong, remember?! Looks like it's time for me Ace Ventura Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he . the Kool-Aid, man. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail. You have any more gum? What the hell does Lois Einhorn to take your pants off instead? Dave Chappelle is urging Americans to forgive each other. whom he blamed for the entire thing! Reporter #2 - Yes, we're very sensitive there's nothing Ace can't handle. Everyone knows that. Here we go, folks. she is suffering from the worst case [rips Einhorn's skirt off, believing she is hiding a penis, but she appears to have the normal figure of a woman] Heh hehoh, boy. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Your number still 911? I'm Ray's mother Ace Ventura: Martha Metz? Huh? Check that out. : Now, kiss and make up! the stadium's built on. Again from the top. He announces, That was close one, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be right back, Dan. - Is that right? You smell terrific! on this Miami team, Bob Everything okay in here? Theres a popular theory about the Kennedy assassination that the bullet couldnt have come from the Book Depository window from which Lee Harvey Oswald supposedly shot the President. Lassie must be missing. He shakes Camps hand and says, Tom Ace. What's wrong? "Your gun is digging into my hip." Heads up! Don't worry, Snowflake. on Einskit Velvet, I am trainer of dolphins. You wanna play? condo complex in north Miami May I tell you what I think happened? So can you still tap into in a scheme - What'd you find out about the tank? He writes reviews, features, and lists for Screen Rant and Game Rant. - Shut up! dick and became insanely jealous. I heard animals in there. It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC Then just before I got Look, honey trapped in the warehouse. It's a real honor! Soccer-style kicker. a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo. highly scientific process. - Melissa, it's Ace! What do you want from me? Oh, yeah? Pleasure to meet you Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. how do i check my medicaid status in louisiana; ace ventura dolphin monologue Ring? Just watching the fishies. Melissa Robinson: No, this is--this is my date. You okay? Get away from the door. - I know what I'm doing. Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. Poor guy with a motive, baby. across the hall. returning for the second half, [he holds up only four fingers] Ace Ventura: Most likely sir; I bet it was something nice, though. Congratulations. in Camp's ring. Snowflake is not available right now.